Keeping chinese traditions alive

To some of us, when we think of a Chinese wedding, images conjure of a big banquet with great food and a long ‘yam seng’. However, things aren’t quite as simple or straightforward as we think. For a culture that is built on tradition and beliefs – it’s no surprise that a Chinese Wedding is steeped in customs (which are very fun I might add!).

Let’s start with the betrothal. What I’ve learned about Chinese wedding customs is that they are very specific. For example, I found that an engagement gift for the bride may include: western and Chinese wedding cakes, two bottles of brandy, an even number of tangerines and oranges, peanut candies for a teochew bride and rice candles for a hokkien bride, at least six tins of canned pork legs or a whole roast pig for a Cantonese bride, and lastly, betrothal jewelry from the groom’s parents to the bride.

Quite a list, eh? Oh, and of course there is also the bride’s dowry, which is usually presented in a red packet or sometimes wrapped in a red cloth.

Let’s not forget the groom – the bride also has to bestow gifts. Customarily, the bride’s parent’s will replace the two bottles of brandy with two bottles of orange syrup and an even numbered portion of other gifts which are returned to the groom’s family together with two phoenix candles.

Okay, back to the wedding ceremony itself! The wedding day starts with the groom setting off to fetch his bride… but it’s not as easy as it seems – obstacles are placed in order for him to marry the woman he loves.

First of all, the groom must not come empty handed. Certain items that symbolize good fortune, prosperity and even a hundred years of closeness and happiness in marriage are brought in the form of tangerines and oranges, dried persimmons and dried magnolia petals to name a few.

Once the groom’s car pulls up to the bride’s home, he must wait until the bride’s younger brother (if she has one) opens the door. When that happens, they will then give the groom two oranges, which are left in the car for good fortune. The groom in turn gives his future brother-in-law a red packet. If the bride does not have a younger brother, a younger male relative or friend can take on the role.

But wait, the groom’s quest is not over yet! The bridesmaids will block his entrance, and give him various ‘challenges’ to power his way through. This could be either a tough bargaining session involving notes & coins or even getting the groom to sing love songs or push-ups!

Once the bridesmaids are contented, they allow the groom inside to kiss his bride and also serve morning tea and sweet soup. But a word of caution, the groom must fetch his bride and bring her home before 9am. So don’t keep him doing too many push-ups at the door!

As bride and groom return to his home, his family and friends will hide in the house to avoid the clashing of luck. It is only after the bride has entered the decorated bridal room that they come out of hiding and return to the family hall together, to embark on the next ritual – the tea ceremony.

This ritual has great importance in a Chinese wedding. The tea ceremony begins with the bride bring formally introduced to the groom’s family. The newlyweds will first serve tea to their parents, followed by the grandparents, granduncles and aunts, uncles and aunts, elder brothers and sisters and lastly elder cousins.

After the tea ceremony the couple will usually proceed to their church wedding or registration of marriage (ROM), which is followed by an extravagant banquet celebrating the newlywed’s couple union.

I know I’m leaving a lot of details out, but you could seriously write a book on these customs! There is just so much attention to detail. But in a nutshell – these are some traditional Chinese wedding customs!